Relationships should make you feel good and add value toÂ your life, not take itÂ away. IfÂ youâ€™ve found that your relationship seems aÂ lot more confusing and muddled than itÂ usedÂ to, weÂ recommends these tipsÂ â€” they can really help.
1. Make sure toÂ fall inÂ love with yourself first
Like weÂ have said countless times before, you really canâ€™t have aÂ healthy relationship until you learn toÂ love yourself unabashedly and unconditionally. Fall soÂ deeply inÂ love with yourself that you want toÂ shout itÂ from the rooftops, take yourself out onÂ dates, and look atÂ yourself inÂ the mirror and see all that you could ever need. Then, and only then, can you truly love another human being, because you will know the definition ofÂ love atÂ your core, and have the capability ofÂ offering that feeling toÂ another onÂ aÂ deep level.
2. BeÂ upÂ front with your feelings
NoÂ relationship can work unless both people commit toÂ sharing their true feelings inÂ all instances, noÂ matter how difficult. IfÂ something bothers you, sayÂ it. IfÂ you need something from your partner, just ask. ItÂ will make aÂ relationship goÂ much more smoothly ifÂ you donâ€™t hold back, and instead reveal your feelings and thoughts toÂ your partner atÂ all costs. Most people canâ€™t read minds, soÂ itÂ makes things aÂ lot easier for both ofÂ you ifÂ you use your voice toÂ express how you feel.
3. Give each other space sometimes
Two people canâ€™t keep each other company 24/7 and remain sane; itÂ just doesnâ€™t work that way, and itÂ shouldnâ€™t. People need room toÂ grow and learn onÂ their own, and create aÂ life outside ofÂ their relationship. Make sure toÂ give one another aÂ few nights aÂ week toÂ goÂ out and explore onÂ your own, goÂ out with friends, orÂ even just spend time atÂ home watching Netflix orÂ relaxing byÂ yourselves. Your relationship will only strengthen once you give each other space toÂ become your own person, and you will continue toÂ learn more about each other inÂ the process.
4. Let your walls come down
You donâ€™t have toÂ dress upÂ orÂ look perfect for your partner, because they obviously have stayed with you for much more than your looks. Let them see you without makeup, lounging around inÂ sweatpants and aÂ ratty old T-shirt. Many ofÂ us live with this mask onÂ inÂ fear ofÂ letting people see our raw, unadulterated selves, but ifÂ you want aÂ relationship toÂ last, you have toÂ rip that mask off and let your true self shine through.
5. Donâ€™t allow jealousy toÂ interfere with your relationship
Jealousy can tear any relationship apart, noÂ matter how deep the connection. According toÂ Helen Fisher, PhD, jealousy usually stems from childhood trauma orÂ other psychological issues related toÂ abandonment, inadequacy, orÂ overdependency onÂ others. AÂ little jealousy can actually reignite the flame inÂ relationships, but too much ofÂ itÂ can destroy anÂ otherwise healthy partnership. Before you commit toÂ someone, you need toÂ work out these issues beforehand and figure out what causes you toÂ feel jealous. Otherwise, the monster will only reappear inÂ every relationship you have until you determine the root ofÂ the problem.
6. BeÂ thankful for the little things
Make sure toÂ tell your partner aÂ simple Â«thank youÂ» for all the wonderful little things they doÂ for you each day, like waking you upÂ with aÂ fresh, steaming hot cup ofÂ coffee, orÂ making you breakfast, orÂ holding the door open for you. Relationships need reinforcement inÂ order toÂ thrive, soÂ make sure toÂ tell you partner just how much you appreciate them.
7. Support your partner noÂ matter what
InÂ any relationship, both people need support from their partner during both the ups and downs inÂ their lives. IfÂ your partner needs aÂ shining beacon ofÂ light toÂ guide their way during aÂ rough storm, stand byÂ him orÂ her while they navigate through the dark seas. IfÂ heÂ orÂ she needs help deciding onÂ anÂ exciting career move, support them noÂ matter what decision they make. Remember, while you both share aÂ life together, each one ofÂ you must make you own choices, and you have toÂ allow one another that freedom. However, giving each other support when you need itÂ helps keep the relationship alive.
8. Stand upÂ for yourself
Even though you love and care for your partner, donâ€™t feel like you have toÂ bend over backwards toÂ agree with everything they say. InÂ fact, aÂ little disagreeing here and there can make you closer asÂ aÂ couple, since you can learn from each otherâ€™s differing opinions.
9. Donâ€™t try toÂ change your partner
More than anything, accept the ins and outs ofÂ your partner, even ifÂ they sometimes get onÂ your nerves. Their imperfections make them beautiful, and obviously, you felt attracted toÂ them for their whole soul, not just the more Â«tolerableÂ» parts. Accept them asÂ you accept yourself, and your relationship will only continue toÂ blossom.
10. Make him/her feel special
Sometimes, relationships can grow stale ifÂ two people donâ€™t keep putting inÂ the effort that they used toÂ inÂ the beginning stages ofÂ the relationship. Buy him orÂ her flowers randomly, orÂ treat your lover toÂ aÂ fancy date out onÂ the town. Everyone likes toÂ feel wanted and important, but sometimes that gets pushed toÂ the wayside inÂ committed relationships. Even ifÂ life gets busy, take the time toÂ make your love feel that rush ofÂ excitement and joy they felt when they first met youÂ â€” itÂ will help keep the spark alive inÂ the relationship.